Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Mean people suck

For those who don't know (and most reading this will know), Ravelry is a sort of facebook for knitters, with lots of information about yarns and patterns, pictures of other people's projects, forums, and other fun stuff. It's still in beta, and keeps a friendly, community feel. Since when I joined there were still so few users (it was a big day when 1000 people were online at the same time), there was a sense that one should be respectful and kind to the other knitters who participated in this lovely utopia.

So when I had yarn left-over after a project, I listed it as "to trade or sell," and sent as a gift to two different people the yarn that they needed to finish a project or that they couldn't afford. Of course neither of these people seems to have used the yarn, but no matter, sometimes things get put on hold. Still, I decided I wasn't going to send yarn for free to strangers anymore.

A short while ago, someone messaged me about buying the Dream in Color Classy leftover from my Lush and Lacy cardi. There was about 3/4 of the skein left, and having momentarily forgotten how much it had cost ($18/skein), offered it for $5. I also warned her that the different dye lots (and even the same dye lot) don't match for this brand, and that I only had a partial skein. She didn't seem to comment on that, and immediately wrote back with her address and said she'd send a check in the mail. *This should have been a warning.* What knitter doesn't care about matching yarn? She had a bunch of Dream in Color in her stash though, so I figured she was making some sort of multi-colored project. I thought of checking the list of "naughty swappers," which is the list of people on Ravelry who have not held up their end of a yarn swap. And then I thought, who on that list would be so bold and shameless as to initiate a yarn purchase after being blacklisted so publicly? And who would cheat another Raveler?

Since she wanted the cheapest shipping, I sent the yarn without any package tracking or anything like that. Of course you all know what happened. I've waited and waited, and there's no check in the mail. I've messaged her, and there's no response. I went to the "naughty swappers" list, and she (purlsoup) is the first person listed! It sounds like she totally ripped off this other person and has been incommunicado, yet she flagrantly initiates other yarn swaps/buys. What an awful, horrible, mean monster! Please, tell everyone you know. Don't do any business with her, including buying from her Etsy shop.

If I hadn't received two wonderful gifts from Thea and Mooncalf recently, I'd be despondent about my horrible knitting karma. Because of this one incident, now I don't want to participate in any more yarn swaps, or be nice or trusting to anyone anymore. Meanness is contagious, and I need to shake it off!

One bright spot in an otherwise bad day/week/month: I got a custom-made fascinator! I've been wanting one for a long time, and Buffalump is a local fascinator-maker who was able to custom-make one for me. It's so bright and uplifting, I might have to wear it every day.


Thea said...

Hey, the chicken is hilarious - can't show Zoe or I'll have to make one too. Sorry to hear about your bad swap, but at least you were only out a partial skein and $5 -- could have been worse, yes? Have not seen a fascinator before, very Sarah Jessica Parker - cool. :-) said...

OK sweetie let me teach you the rules of trade.
1. Never never accept a check! Paypal only or Money order. If they insist on a check tell them up front you will not mail the item until it has cleared there account. And is in yours.
2. Don't ever mail the yarn before you recived the money.
3. Always get insurance or delivery confermation! Tell them you have been burned before and its not personal but you learn from your mistakes.
Ask me how I know! LOL huggs Marion

Anna said...

How annoying! I always use PayPal when trading yarn, but I don't charge them until after it's sent (so I know what the postage came to). Perhaps I should rethink that plan! So far no bad yarn swap karma for me, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

VeganCraftastic said...

Oh yuck, I'm so sorry that happened to you!

mooncalf said...

What a terrible thing! I'm much more trusting on Ravelry than I would be if I were selling on Ebay too. I guess there are mean people everywhere :(

Thank you for the link to the naughty swappers page. I didn't know about it and you might have saved me from a bad experience too. I hope karma sends you lots of lovely good things to make up for it!

soknitpicky said...

That does suck. Yes, meanness can be contagious, but so can kindness. :-) BTW, your chicken in the post below is great. I have that pattern and did part of the egg, but I never finished. May have to pick it up

orata said...

What a jerk! Good thing it was just a little bit of yarn. Her etsy shop was in my favorites and I tried to remove it, but it turns out that's kind of hard when you have nearly a hundred pages of favorite sellers and no way to search... hope I don't forget and make the mistake of buying from her at some point.

I LOVE the chicken!

Knitter in an Urban Zoo said...

Curses on her!! That is just plain terrible. Thanks for posting about it, I hope you feel better about it soon :)

Chrissy said...

What a bummer! Btw, I followed the link to her Rav profile, checked out her posting history, and it looks like she just signed up for a swap! Ugh! Whomever she's matched with doesn't know what's coming. (I'm guessing nothing).

donnac1968 said...

Some people are just nasty, but NEVER send out an item until you have received payment.

Love the chicken!

e said...

aw man, thats awful. sorry lady!

what a jerk.